


Regression

by TheKnaveOfHearts



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-23 03:49:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10711578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheKnaveOfHearts/pseuds/TheKnaveOfHearts
Summary: There are some scars that never heal, no matter how long. There is nothing we can do but to tend the wounds, and offer our sympathy to the bereaved.Presented with an nod of acknowledgement to ghostofgatsby's fantastic "With a Heart Unsatisfied" AU, the first story of what will hopefully be many more in a society where magic is, for better or worse, part of everyday life.





	Regression

**Author's Note:**

> "Presented with an nod of acknowledgement to ghostofgatsby's fantastic "With a Heart Unsatisfied" AU, the first story of what will hopefully be many more in a society where magic is, for better or worse, part of everyday life."
> 
> This is an experimental piece for me: one of the first narratives I have written that takes place almost entirely in dialogue. I have tried to make it unambiguous and easy to read, but if you have a suggestion for improvement or clarificatation then please do let me know.
> 
> As always, I have no-one to show these works to before I post them, so there may be a few spelling and grammar errors that I have missed in my proof-reading.
> 
> Enjoy! -TheKnave

“It was the waitress dropping the tray that set him off – I saw the tray falling, and heard it clatter to the ground, and I saw how his face just crumpled up in fear. As the tray bounced across the floor, metal on stone, he threw himself into the corner of the room, crawling on his hands and knees under the table in the corner.”

_“Did he say anything? Make any noises?”_

“He was screaming – screaming like, like he was about to die. It sounded like an animal. He was shouting too – shouting ‘Cover! Cover! For God’s sake man, get over here!’ He was shouting a name too – Ben. ‘Ben!’, he screamed, ‘Quickly! You can make it!’. It was – it was…

_“You can take a moment to compose yourself, Kim. It’s alright if you don’t want to continue.”_

“No, no, I’m fine. It’s just – he was doing so well. I honestly thought he was getting better – with the therapy and everything. And he just lost it, Dr Rutherford, completely lost it. He was in the brace position, he was scrabbling in his belt like he was looking for a gun or something. And, it was so unexpected. He’d been fine all that morning. He’d even watched a helicopter go overhead without even wincing.”

_“Just remember, there’s often no logic to what causes these flashbacks. You can be fine with even the loudest, scariest things, and then one little movement or gesture can undo all of it.”_

“I was scared, Dr. He’d reached for his magic. I could feel what he was doing – he was drawing in all kinds of energy into himself, building it all up. Horrible, violent things – you know what that magic is like, all spikes and sharp edges. It’s for maiming and killing – there’s nothing else in it. And he was preparing to expel it into the room, I could tell. If the fireman hadn’t been there we could have all been killed. Without the shield he threw up, God knows what could have happened.”

_“It’s okay. These setbacks happen. I know it’s awful, but at least now we know the scale of the problem that we’re facing.”_

“The scale of the problem! The scale of the problem is that he’s a ticking fucking time-bomb! He’s dangerous!”

_“Kim, you need to calm down. Getting worked up like this, it’s not going to solve anything.”_

“Oh, don’t try any of your soothing bullshit on me! I’m not stupid, I can sense you using your Hippocratic bollocks. Don’t try and tell me about how Lewis wasn’t dangerous, he was. He had no idea of where he was. He thought he was back in the base incursion, I could tell. He was screaming about the elevator shaft, telling Ben to order the evacuation.”

_“Ben?”_

“He was his second-in-command. He was hit by a bomb-blast, died in hospital. Lewis never got over it. It was after that that he went on ‘indefinite leave’. The military can’t even tell the truth – that what they do to the soldiers, the training they put them through – it damages them. Leaves them terrified, twitching, lashing out at the slightest noise. All that violence. It’s awful. I don’t – I don’t think he’s ever going to get better, Dr, not completely. There’s always going to be that edge to him, no matter how much therapy or how many reform programs he goes to. He’ll never be the same, will he?”

_Dr Rutherford paused._

_“I’m not going to lie to you Kim – he probably won’t ever be completely the same again. Using nothing but that magic for years, constantly in a state of fear and worry, responsible for so many lives; it’s bound to have a permanent effect. But we can reduce that effect, try and minimise it, soften it. I truly believe that we can. And some of the new treatments they’re developing are very promising, very promising stuff.”_

“Oh God. I hope so.”

_“We do our best, Kim, and so do you. You’re a wonderful friend to him – without his friends I honestly think that he’d have a very real chance of never getting any better.”_

“I feel so useless though. I’m a dead weight. I’m weak – I have to have therapy! I wasn’t even there, in the war. He’s the one who need it, not me. I’m – wasting your resources.”

_“Kim. There is nothing shameful in needing help. You carry around a lot of guilt, Kim. I don’t need to have the Sight to see that. Knowing what you know, seeing what you see, it can’t be easy for you. Everyone has a side to their art that they try to keep hidden, but they can’t hide it from you. I know that it can make you feel like an outsider, but you’ve got to try and resist that feeling – it’s not true.”_

“You’re right, Dr. Thank you. I’m sorry I was so rude.”

“ _Don’t worry about it Kim. I’ve heard worse, believe me. I think it’s best to stop now, have a break. Go get some lunch – it’ll make you feel a lot better.”_

“Thank you. I will.”

_“Oh, and Kim? Eat some Chocolate. Best medicine there is.”_


End file.
